She stalks a stork

Hello!  I’m a thirty-something underachiever conceiver–I cannot “get”, become, or fall (what does this even mean?!) pregnant despite my efforts.  After hearing the following well-intentioned, albeit meaningless advice from someone I barely knew I decided to share my journey.

To conceive you must:

1)  RELAX and it will happen (No, but I’ve heard relaxing may help in achieving an orgasm).

2) Go on a vacation (Yes, nothing is more romantic than hauling around overpacked suitcases and regretting spending your last dollars which were really needed for IUI/IVF treatments while you sit on an airport freeway for hours on end).

3) Don’t TRY to get pregnant  (I guess nothing guarantees a pregnancy more than the immaculate conception route).

I hope to find others who are in or have been in my situation.  I don’t know about you, but I’ve spent far too many days pondering why pregnancy eludes me while everyone else on the planet along with their sister and cousin and long-lost relatives become pregnant at the drop of a hat.  I’m done with guilt, shame, regret, and depression and am ready to move forward with my life.  Writing is the best way I can make sense of it all.