Lately, I’ve been putting my hand in the proverbial Facebook cookie jar. I am empowered.
I know FB is full of crappy insensitive posts. I scroll through and see the same garbage and my reaction is “So F-ing what!”
As infertility continues to dominate my life, I’ve learned how to anticipate the ways of social media and some social interactions as well. See an old acquaintance in a store who you know is going to ask “Are You pregnant yet (moron)? Duck down another aisle! Got a “friend” who is always going on about her adorable tow-headed tot? Start an intense game of Angry Birds on your phone while she babbles away!
Yep, I’ve toughened myself up these last couple of days.
Then, why did my day go straight to hell when I opened this email at work?:
As I checked my work emails, I got this one from a co-worker that said “You are invited.” I innocently thought that someone was sending me an invitation to yet another jewelry/purse/cookware party. But no, I get this glaring, loud, in-your face reminder about what I don’t have.
Besides the obvious reasons, this email sucked for three additional reasons.
1) I have always wanted a little girl. I dream about her always and wonder if I will ever get the chance to be her mother.
2) Work is a place I can go to get away from obsessing over RE visits, time, and finances (well, I try). When I open an email, I expect it to be work-related. If you’re going to drop a bomb like this, at least have the courtesy to warn me in the damn subject line.
3) The shower is for a guy (his wife works someplace else), who I will call Sir You’re So Vain. Sir You’re So Vain and his wife, from my calculations, literally got married, got pregnant the same month and are delivering a baby precisely 9 months later. A girl. That would suck on its own but Sir You’re So Vain, for lack of better terms, is an ass.
Despite prepping myself to be a savvy, yet tough social media user, I fell apart after I opened this email. Maybe it’s the fact that I want a little girl, maybe it was the colorful graphics and pink lettering, or maybe it’s hormonal.
After I called my husband who convinced me to postpone my huge, down-and-out monthly meltdown (which isn’t necessarily associated with PMS), I felt better. I was sad, but then I got angry. I get it. I know that it is perfectly acceptable to send non-related work emails to your colleagues at your job. I know that it is trendy and cute to have a baby shower and invite everyone you know I know that others do not know about my personal situation. I just wish, for the sake of all that is holy, that people would just think about their actions before they do them. At work, there is at least one other infertile who is very open about her condition. Wonder how she felt when she opened that email?
ATTENTION EASY FERTILES: SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY!
GRRRRR! Just GRRRR!
TheStorkDiaries 