You Are Invited! (No Thanks,You Clueless Fertile!!)

Lately, I’ve been putting my hand in the proverbial Facebook cookie jar.  I am empowered.

I know FB is full of crappy insensitive posts.   I scroll through and see the same garbage and my reaction is “So F-ing what!” 

As infertility continues to dominate my life, I’ve learned how to anticipate the ways of social media and some social interactions as well.  See an old acquaintance in a store who you know is going to ask “Are You pregnant yet (moron)?  Duck down another aisle!   Got a “friend” who is always going on about her adorable tow-headed tot?  Start an intense game of Angry Birds on your phone while she babbles away!

Yep, I’ve toughened myself up these last couple of days.

Then, why did my day go straight to hell when I opened this email at work?:

As I checked my work emails, I got this one from a co-worker that said “You are invited.”   I innocently thought that someone was sending me an invitation to yet another jewelry/purse/cookware party.  But no, I get this glaring, loud, in-your face  reminder about what I don’t have. 

Besides the obvious reasons, this email sucked for three additional reasons.

1)  I have always wanted a little girl.  I dream about her always and wonder if I will ever get the chance to be her mother.

2) Work is a place I can go to get away from obsessing over RE visits, time, and finances (well, I try).  When I open an email, I expect it to be work-related.  If you’re going to drop a bomb like this, at least have the courtesy to warn me in the damn subject line.

3) The shower is for a guy (his wife works someplace else), who I will call Sir You’re So Vain.  Sir You’re So Vain and his wife, from my calculations, literally got married, got pregnant the same month and are delivering a baby precisely 9 months later.   A girl.  That would suck on its own but Sir You’re So Vain, for lack of better terms, is an ass.

Despite prepping myself to be a savvy, yet tough social media user, I fell apart after I opened this email.  Maybe it’s the fact that I want a little girl, maybe it was the colorful graphics and pink lettering, or maybe it’s hormonal.

After I called my husband who convinced me to postpone my huge, down-and-out monthly meltdown (which isn’t necessarily associated with PMS), I felt better.  I was sad, but then I got angry.  I get it.  I know that it is perfectly acceptable to send non-related work emails to your colleagues at your job.   I know that it is trendy and cute to have a baby shower and invite everyone you know  I know that others do not know about my personal situation.  I just wish, for the sake of all that is holy, that people would just think about their actions before they do them.  At work, there is at least one other infertile who is very open about her condition.  Wonder how she felt when she opened that email?




12 responses to this post.

  1. Ugh, I am sorry! That is the worse when you unknowingly open up an email or text only to have that shoved in your face. I’ve had it done twice this week.

    Maybe we should all have a infertility shower thrown in OUR honor. Instead of baby gifts we could receive fun stuff like booze! Shove THAT in the fertiles faces 😉


  2. errrr do you even know this man’s wife? if no then this wreaks of trying to score for their baby.

    But I like what Trisha said above, infertile showers would be awesome. Just one long cocktail party that never stops 😉


  3. I am standing right next to you and screaming “SHE THE F%%%CK UP”!!!!!!!

    Love the shower idea as long as there are lots and lots of wine and they must give money instead of gifts for our treatments!!!


  4. I’m so pissed right there with you. How effing tacky and rude! Invitations? Really? Even if they were virtual, it’s still wrong.

    My husband faced a similar situation a few months ago but I think it was dealt with much more tactfully. His dept is kinda small….about 16 people and they’re all pretty close. As in, spouses and boyfriends/girlfriends hang out socially. I know them. When one of his co-worker’s wife was having a baby, they invited her in and did a nice lunch. But they all knew her. If we’re lucky enough to get to that point, I expect they will do the same for me and it would be fun. But if you all are in a larger department and don’t know each other well, eh….that’s tacky. Yes, his wife deserves a little kindness, but a simple e-mail would have sufficed.



  5. Posted by Rachel @ Eggs In A Row on February 2, 2012 at 7:29 pm


    What is wrong with people?


  6. Some people just don’t think. Ugggh.

    I’m in on the infertility shower! 😉


  7. Okay, in retrospect, glad the woman I work with told my boss who then, insensitively, told me. Better than an email! I know an ass as well though. When drunk, his wife used to go on and on about how he cheats at all games (something underlying there), they married in August 2010, pregnant within two months. And he is the meanest man I have ever met, even when ignoring the potential cheating thing.

    Loving the idea of an infertility shower!


  8. […] post or two ago, I wrote about receiving an invitation to a baby shower in honor of a co-worker and his wife.  […]


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