But I Don’t Wanna Go Back to the RE

CD 1 means many different things for all of us.  For most, I suspect, it means our dream didn’t come true the prior month (despite several well-timed sessions in the sack).  For others, we may forlornly stroke our bloated bellies which would put any 7-month preggo’s tummy to shame.   For me, and countless others, we begin to mentally prepare our schedules for doctor visits, ultrasounds, and fertility drugs.

When I rolled out of bed this morning, my first thought was “I don’t wanna go back to the RE” (well, actually it was I don’t want to go to work, but my husband bribed me with cinnamon rolls and tulips, so I went).  My last visit to the RE left me feeling pretty awful (which lead to The Big, Bad Breakdown of the Month).

If I had to give advice to anyone who is visiting the RE for the first time, (or any time really) it would be this:  Never make a late afternoon appointment.  Doctors have a difficult time differentiating your left ovary from your right; nurses are tapping their pointy, black, stiletto shoes.  They have one foot out the door .

More than anyone, I understand working all day and being desperate to get out the door. What I don’t understand is scheduling patients for an appointment that you know is going to go well past your please- forgive- me- if- I-violate it- 4:30 walk-out time. 

Last month, I had a 4:00 appointment.  I wasn’t seen until about 4:15 for my baseline ultrasound .  Since my IUI didn’t work in December, my RE wanted to know if I wanted to move onto injectables (he also uttered in an oh-by-the-way tone that my age could be an issue.)  Of course, this and moving to injectables is a more involved and costly decision that surely warrants a conversation, right?  Not according to an exasperated Nurse Stiletto who is sighing and rolling her eyes and who is just so damn inconvenienced that she has to do a little paperwork before she heads out to her promising social life.  Yeah, she literally left the office less than one minute after I made it down the stairs.  I saw her in the parking lot and had to restrain myself from overusing my gas pedal.

Needless to say, I didn’t do the injectables that month largely for financial reasons, but also because I felt like I had been pushed out of the office and treated like a trespasser.  Honestly, I think Mr. RE would have taken more time to answer my questions if it hadn’t been for hell on heels.  By the end of the appointment, I felt so overwhelmed and emotional that I just wanted to get the hell out of there.   Mr. RE may have merely laid out options for me, but all that went through my head was “You’re going to need shots and it might already be too late.”

Maybe you can see why I’m not so eager to go back tomorrow.  I’m already an emotional wreck and any off-hand comment or gesture, whether intended or not, has the potential to lead to a breakdown. 

So there you have it:  Never make the last appointment of the day, and let me add, be wary of a nurse in black stilettos.    



7 responses to this post.

  1. That just sucks…I hope tomorrow goes much better! I know that telling you should relax would be futile, so instead I will just hope that tomorrow comes as fast as possible. Keep us posted and good luck 🙂


  2. Good luck with tomorrow! I have been on Gonal F injections, they are very easy to use and not that bad. Hope everything goes well!! I would have changed doctors as this is such a hard road and you pay so much money, you deserve the best treatment!!!

    Will be thinking of you xxx


  3. I totally understand how you don’t want to go back there. It’s incredible how insensitive, rude and unprofessional people can be. I’ve changed doctors for behavior like that (my opthalmologist).
    Good luck for tomorrow! And now that I’m done with the “active” part of my first round of IVF, I can also say that the injections do take some courage but really aren’t that bad, if you get to do them subcutaneously or even use a pen (I have no experience with IM injections). You can do it!


  4. Infertility is bad enough without some nurse making you feel like your *inconveniencing* her otherwise perfect life. Bitch, please… I hope your appointment went better than expected!


  5. Posted by Psycholovista on February 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm

    Good to stumble on your blog. I’m on TTC10, and about to start my third round of IUI. CD1 is such an intense day, and depending on the (pregnancy/PMS) signs leading up to CD1, it can be pretty brutal. I was given my really bad news at the fertility clinic (I wrote about it in my blog about the traumatic visit!) and the second time I went back, I burst into tears in the elevator. It is such a difficult place to go for me….though I have to admit it has been easier since. Wishing you a good cycle….


  6. I never really thought about it that way, but it makes sense. Everyone wants to leave at the end of the day. But there was NO excuse for how you were treated! Maybe think about switching REs?


  7. […] visited Mr. RE for any ultrasounds/blood work/haughty conversations with Nurse Stilletto […]


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