Oops. . . I Posed Nude While Pregnant Again

Jessica Simpson

Image via Wikipedia

Let’s face it–the media is both obsessed and saturated with pregnant celebrities.  Celebrities don’t have large stomachs, they have “baby bumps”.  They don’t name their children something reasonable such as Emily or Joshua, they name them Kiwi, Apple, Banana, or Moxie Crimefighter.  These actions I can deal with.  But why in the name of Penthouse and Hustler, do they have to drop their clothes?

Jessica Simpson is the latest pregnant celebrity to become a soft porn star bare all for a magazine spread.  Of course she is preceded by Britney Spears and the lady who started it all, Demi Moore.  Don’t get me wrong; I know beauty, or rather art, is in the eye of the beholder.  I know that pregnancy and maybe even a pregnant body is beautiful in its own way, but come on!  Did you check out these pictures

I know that some feel that pregnancy is glamourous but does it have to be sexualized for the whole world to see?  I’m sorry, but it looks like Jessica Simpson is having an orgasm in the first picture.  The placement and position of her fiance’s head tells the same story.  I suppose the second pic is supposed to tease us:  “Oh, I wonder what’s underneath her hands?  No, no, don’t tell me!  Her breasts and vagina?  Absolutely no freaking way!  Elle magazine, you amaze me!”

I know the media wants to shock us but I have to wonder what pictures like these mean for the infertiles of the world.  In essence, absolutely nothing, but it is hard to erase the image of the smug celebrity stroking her stomach in ecstasy as she announces her fertility to the world.   It’s not enough for me to know that she is pregnant.  I have to see her nude as well.  Did she think I didn’t believe her when her clothes were on or something?  I get it–you’re pregnant.  Shut up, cover up and get over yourself.  Save the nudes for, I don’t know, your husband??


7 responses to this post.

  1. Airbrushed much? I kind of identified with JS body shape but her belly and boobs have been toned down – A LOT. Another way for making us feel great about our bodies then.

    And no one wants to see this little (big) black duck pregnant. Who wants to see a brown line running down my stomach and excess hair? Certainly not my husband and definitely not the wider community!

    I am all for celebrating pregnancy, but lets celebrate the real pregnancy not the Hollywood air brushed version.


  2. I’m laughing at your description of the pics! Thanks for the much-needed smile.


  3. […] Oops. . . I Posed Nude While Pregnant Again (thestorkdiaries.wordpress.com) […]


  4. awesome post! you had me laughing out loud! i’m so glad i’m not the only one who was annoyed by these pics. i get the whole shock factor thing, but it’s not like it hasn’t been done a million times. as a photographer myself (nothing this high $, of course), i am so over the whole naked maternity pics movement! anyway, looking forward to following your blog. you definitely seem like my kind of blogger. 🙂


  5. I’m not sure I’ll be posing for naked photos when I finally get pregnant…but I may throw “Crimefighter” into the baby name mix…


  6. I thought of this post when I heard the latest stupid Jessica Simpson comment about how her water is going to break like the explosion of a fire hydrant. In case you wanted a visual even worse than her Elle magazine cover.


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