What Would Kate Do?

The British royal family on Buckingham Palace ...

The British royal family on Buckingham Palace balcony after Prince William and Kate Middleton were married. Kate wears a wedding gown by Sarah Burton. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Is she or isn’t she (you know what the question is)?

The world is fascinated with Kate Middleton.  It’s easy to see why.  The latest member of the royal family is lovely, classy, and well, perfect.

However, that is not enough.  Society, particularly the royal family, is demanding  wondering when she will produce an heir.

I feel for Kate.  I mean, she can’t even leave the house with a hair out of place or a chipped nail.  Much of her life has already been planned for her.  How on Earth would she be able to voice her concerns that she hasn’t gotten pregnant yet, despite her best efforts?

If a member of society, say someone respectable, like Kate Middleton was an infertile, what would that mean for the rest of us?  Would it mean that it would be socially acceptable to be infertile?  Could the rest of us finally come out of the closet without fear of judgement or shame?

Remember Princess Diana?  She had to prove she was a virgin before she was even allowed to marry Charles.  I wonder if poor Kate had to go through fertility testing before her marriage to prove she could reproduce.

Why am I blogging about society’s judgement on our ability to reproduce?  Just read the scathing user comments from this article about IVF in Europe.  Let’s just say I was upset how quickly society judges those who are suffering from infertilty.  Every common piece of garbage is there in the article:  just adopt, fertility doctors only want money, natural order, infertile people aren’t meant to have kids, blah blah blah.

Of course the comments found at the bottom of the article are nothing new.  I shouldn’t be shocked by them.  I still get upset though.  These comments only reinforce the false belief that if you don’t conceive children immediately, you do not deserve them.

One commenter lamented that infertiles would soon be incredulously “demanding” the right to an IVF.  Well, I say why not?  Once again, I never signed up to be infertile.  It happened to me.  It is a disability.  I did not choose it.

So, this brings me back to the question:  what if Kate Middleton was infertile and the world knew it?  Would it make it ok for all of us to be?  Could Kate hide her own pain graciously to educate the masses that we are not the inferior bunch we are portrayed to be?

However, I predict Kate will be dropping the p-bomb very soon.  It’s just the way that the world works.  Even if she has had difficulties, she has vast resources at her disposal.  If anyone gave her grief about her condition, I bet she could unleash the Royal Guard on them.

If only we could say the same.

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19 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Psycholovista on April 13, 2012 at 4:07 pm

    You’ve been reading my mind. I’ve been thinking about this same thing (hard not to with that big question posted over all the aisles in grocery stores!)….but like you, I am sure we will never find out the truth because a boatload of resources can overcome most infertility problems if the only goal for them is for her to be pregnant.

    Reply

  2. I have wondered a LOT about this also. I hope for her sake, they’re just waiting and she doesn’t have to suffer this awful process. But at the same time, if the sad news were true, I have high hopes about what good things that could potentially do for the countless other women out there. But you’re right…that’s IF she cares enough to publicly make a big deal about it. This will be very interesting to watch unfold…

    Reply

    • Part of me feels like she is reproductively normal, but at the same time it’s hard to ignore everything that is plastered on the cover of magazines. If she was normal, wouldn’t she have had all the pressure on her to make a pregnancy annoucement sometime during the first six months? I guess everyone is different. Maybe they are saving the annoucement for the anniversary.

      Reply

  3. I think about this every time I am at the grocery store and waiting in the checkout line…seeing her pictures always make me wonder if/when we will hear the big annoucement. When there were heavy rumors last fall that she was, I remember seeing the big news on the cover of OK! magazine (you would have thought that would be my hint that it wasn’t true)…but, I pretty much fell apart. At that point…they’d been married less than 6 months. Despite all the PRESSURE she was under, she had somehow managed to conceive (or so rumor had it). I feel guilty to admit, I was a little happy to find out that she wasn’t pregnant yet. But as time goes on…I wonder what the real story is. It would be wonderful if she gave a true voice to infertility.

    Reply

    • Don’t feel bad for feeling that way. Any pregnancy annoucement, whether it is from someone we know or don’t know, someone who has been trying for 6 months or 6 years, it all hurts the same. My bet is that the “big annoucement” will come sometime around their anniversary, if the rumors are true.

      Reply

  4. ugh you aren’t kidding about the Royal Guard!
    I have to say it would be interesting to see the worlds’ reaction if she was, in fact, infertile.

    Reply

  5. Posted by queenelizabethi on April 13, 2012 at 11:17 pm

    I knew I shouldn’t, but I clicked on that article link and read the whole ridiculous thing, plus a good number of comments. The commenters are clearly misreading the article, which indicates that most of Europe is primarily aiming to prevent homosexuals from procreating with these restrictions. So yeah, it makes perfect sense to blame overpopulation of the earth on the people who are not able to have children…infertiles and gays should adopt all the unwanted kids that the straight fertiles are pumping out because they can. I shouldn’t have clicked on that link!

    Reply

    • Ugh. That makes me want to puke. I wouldn’t wish this hell on anyone. It would be interesting to see how the world would react if she were infertile (which I doubt)… she who can do no wrong can bear no royal babies? I’d definitely have a cry for her if that happened. It so hard as it is… I can’t even imagine being in the public eye and having to deal with it!

      Reply

  6. The cynic in me has a feeling that they had her good and checked out before she got married to make sure infertility wouldn’t be an issue. The line must continue and all that jazz…
    But the romantic in me thinks they’re just enjoying themselves as a couple before having a baby.

    Reply

  7. Posted by DandelionBreeze... previously NYMum on April 21, 2012 at 1:40 am

    Hi… here from ICLW. I saw an article in a trashy mag about Kate the other day when I was standing in line at the supermarket… speculating on why she’s not pregnant yet. I felt for her… certainly would be an heartbreaking if she does have trouble and would be interesting to see how it’s handled. IF is so taboo… so hard for our society to talk about. Thinking of you xo

    Reply

    • I have seen quite a few magazines with her face on the cover these last couple of days. It’s funny how the world seems so antsy about her bringing a baby into the world right at this moment.

      Reply

  8. Reblogged this on fertilitydoll and commented:
    I was sitting on the train the other day when an old man talking to his wife (I assume) said about Kate having a baby “Well she better put on some weight if she wants to carry one.” I’m pretty slim so I wanted to punch him. #fertilityrage

    Reply

  9. Hi. I’m Tracey and I’m here from TheFertilityDaily and ICLW. I, too am torn between sympathizing with Kate over the heir pressure and being jealous over the resources she has available if need be. But two things on mind: First: Sure she probably did get prodded and tested before the nuptuals…but what about HIM?? And second: Imagine if they did need IVF…would they take advantage of PGS to have a BOY???!

    I blog for my old IVF doctors to share my experiences. I hope that NIAW and ICLW will help me find new blogs to follow and to spread the word about their Free Micro-IVF contest that kicks off this week. Anyone interested can get the details this week on our blog or the Long Island IVF FB page.

    God Bless you all on your journeys!

    Reply

  10. Posted by Laura on April 21, 2012 at 10:35 pm

    Oh man, I thought the same thing when “they” started talking about it right after the royal wedding….talk about pressure! Royal Pressure 🙂 Here for ICLW, nice to meet you!

    Reply

  11. Greetings from ICLW!

    I have often talked about Kate with my mother (who’s loves talking about the royal family) and my friends and I can’t help but wonder if they are dealing with it. Her only priority right now would be to show up at events looking gorgeous and providing a future heir for the throne and right now she’s only doing one of those things. But the first thought that goes through my head is, now THAT is pressure. Sure she has the resources, but we all know that resources or not, its stressful on its own, now lets add the Queen on top of it and I still wouldn’t want to be in her boat. But like you, I suspect that she will announce it shortly and I will be heart broken and full of jealousy when she does because she got married after me yet she will be having a child before me.

    Reply

  12. This post is fabulous and I love the comments. The Royal Family is so private, I would be shocked if they were open about infertility. I mean, we’ve only heard her speak three of four times. Can you imagine her discussing her cycles? No way. Propriety would not allow it. Also, hello from ICLW!

    Reply

  13. Posted by pandora everett on June 3, 2012 at 9:21 pm

    she will be tossed onher a…. if she doesnt produce an heir……sad but true..and im a brit so…….

    Reply

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