Two Candles, One Dream

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As I type this and stare at two flickering candles, I think about all the others out there doing the same.

It doesn’t seem right that the autumn air is warm outside while a chill runs through my bones in this room.

It seems unreal that one year ago I watched one candle burn while now I watch two.

I don’t think I ever came to terms with the last loss. From a medical viewpoint, it wasn’t a baby. Just a placenta and possibly tissue. Cells. No one really knows. I could never let myself imagine it as a baby, but as I stare at that second candle tonight I feel differently.

The pain and grief have subsided but are never far away. I can’t let myself go there. I have to move on. Not because my losses don’t matter, but because they do.

To everyone out there who has experienced infant or pregnancy loss, I hope you find comfort and strength, now and always.

nil

 

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4 responses to this post.

  1. Thinking of you today.

    Reply

  2. Lit a candle last night in honor of your lost children, and others everywhere. Thinking of you as you move forward, remembering and loving those little lives, always.

    Reply

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