What Tomorrow Brings

 

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No one can be certain of the future.  We can plan to our heart’s content but life has a way of taking over and showing us who is boss. Our best laid-plans often go astray leaving us to plan all over again only to find we must plan yet one more time for something that may or may not happen.  We can only hope that tomorrow brings the thing we so desperately desire.

This month was to be the month that my husband and I officially starting trying again.  Let’s just say that hasn’t happened.

Last Tuesday was a rough one for me.  I spent the better part of the day in bed waiting for my period to arrive while reliving every moment of my reproductive past. When I finally got out of bed, I spent more time reliving but even more time lamenting to God, demanding to know why my life had turned out the way it had.  I was so angry I decided to take a pregnancy test which I thought would somehow speed up the arrival of my period.

Except it didn’t.

The test was positive.

Today I am 5 weeks 5 days pregnant.

Tomorrow brings my first ultrasound

I don’t have to tell you the story of my reproductive past.  Anyone who has read this blog knows that it’s not pretty. I also don’t have to tell you about the fear that I carry in my heart.  Tomorrow means a lot of things.

I would like to tell you that I have spent the week in carefree bliss. Actually, I have spent it nursing one of the worst colds I have ever had, pregnancy-related I’m sure. At least I’ve had the agony of this cold to keep me distracted. My focus has been on breathing–quite literally–and daydreaming about the time I could return home to my bed to collapse in an exhausted heap.

I am trying my best to remain detached and calm, but I can tell you that every day that passes, I want this more. I’ve prayed to God, asked him to heal my body. Actually I prayed this several weeks back. I know my infertility is a sickness and I know he doesn’t want me to have it. I’m trying very hard to cling to my faith that he was healed me. I can’t accept anything less.

So, I try to take day by day and not think about tomorrow, though tomorrow is a big day for me. But for today I am pregnant and that is enough.

 

 

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21 responses to this post.

  1. Congrats friend!! Positive thoughts for a healthy pregnancy.

    Reply

  2. Holy Moly Macaroni! This is such an amazing testimony of God’s faithfulness to heal you! This is awesome! I would love to hear more about your testimony! You can email me at 10hopeingod@gmail.com

    waitingforbabybird.com

    Reply

  3. Posted by Jude on April 10, 2014 at 9:19 pm

    Sooooo exciting!!!

    Reply

  4. Oh, wow. I have always believed this is possible for you. I know it’s scary right now, but I am ever hopeful and praying so hard that this baby only grows and grows. Wishing you peace and strength and a wonderful ultrasound tomorrow — the first of many! xo

    Reply

  5. Wow! Congratulations! God’s richest blessings be upon you and the baby at your ultrasound tomorrow.

    Reply

  6. Lots of prayers going up for you, for tomorrow, for that little bean you’re growing, and for a very healthy pregnancy from here on. So happy to hear this news. I just can’t wait for the day when you are able to celebrate it completely… without fear. You know I’ll be here when that day comes.

    Reply

  7. Wow!! Big news! Praying for your US tomorrow!

    Reply

  8. Wow! Hoping for great things for you. Congrats and pray that the scan goes well. 🙂

    Reply

  9. Wow that’s truly amazing – life is incredible

    Reply

  10. Wow. I teared up reading this. Happy tears for you and what this pregnancy could mean for you. Today is a big day, and I hope all the best for your u/s!

    Reply

  11. So amazing! Big congratulations and sending lots of positive love your way for a happy healthy pregnancy.

    Reply

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