Making the Milestone

cruise

Today I am 9 weeks, 1 day pregnant.

This is absolutely phenomenal because I’ve never been this far before.

I had my 8 week ultrasound on Wednesday and all was very good.  I won’t go into detail about how nervous I was, even weeks before, but I will tell you that the baby was measuring 1 day ahead of schedule and I really couldn’t have asked for a better report. Just by looking at the ultrasound, the baby looks like a little frog with tiny limbs. Hearing that heartbeat is the easily the most beautiful sound I have ever heard.

The doctor asked me if I would be comfortable waiting 4 weeks for my 12 week ultrasound and I told her I wish I could be calm for that long but would feel better coming back in 2 weeks for a 10 week scan. It felt very validating to talk about my fears, particularly with the nurse, who made me feel like I was ok for feeling the way that I did. In fact, she told me that most women would probably get weekly scans if they could afford them. Not that I can afford these bi-monthly ones but I know me and I know what it takes to keep me relatively sane.

I’ve been meaning to update this blog but to be honest I haven’t had the energy to do much of anything lately. Things like walking out to the car, showering and taking medications seem like enormous tasks to me.  My idea of paradise is sleeping for 12 plus hours a night only to wake up for a few hours to have a 3 hour nap in the afternoon.  Of course in the real world I can only do this on Saturdays and I only got to do it once so far.

We haven’t really told many people yet of our news and I am comfortable with my decision though I think my husband is ready to tell the world. I am so grateful for this miracle in my life but I want to keep the news to myself at least through the first trimester.  Part of me thinks that if I had my way I wouldn’t tell anyone until I was ready to deliver. I know this is because of my past and my strong desire to self-protect.

Even as I type this, I want to type out all my fears but I can’t.  I feel like that would be giving them power and I have to save my energy.

Yeah, I could use therapy, too.

In other news, tomorrow is May 5th, what would have been the 1 year anniversary of my first baby’s due date. I feel like I should write a blog post about it  but I’m afraid what will happen if I unleash those emotions. I might still do one, maybe a few days after. I know how I felt last year on her due date and it’s amazing how my situation has changed. My heart still grieves but now I have hope. Now, for the first time, I feel like my body has healed. I need to know that, remember that as each day passes.

By the way, I have no idea what has been going on with my blog subscriptions lately. I’ve been noticing for quite some time that there are fewer blog posts in my reader and I figured people just weren’t blogging as much. Then I went to their blogs only to find out that I’ve been missing most of their posts. It turns out that I was no longer following them even though I never unfollowed them in the first place. I don’t know if this happens because I use different devices to access my blog or because I changed blog themes or what.  Regardless, if you haven’t heard from me in a while that is why. I’ve re-followed who I could but I don’t know if the same problem will happen again.  I remember it happening a couple of times with one or two blogs, but didn’t think the issue would continue. Anyone else have anything similar happen?

That’s it for now!  Wish me calm! Good luck to everyone who is starting or completing an IVF cycle.  I am thinking of you.

 

 

 

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13 responses to this post.

  1. YAAAAAAAY!!!

    Reply

  2. Posted by loveh3 on May 4, 2014 at 9:09 pm

    Glad your ultrasound went so well : ) Congrats!

    Reply

  3. Yay for all the good news!!!!
    I’ve had some trouble with blogs getting unfollowed. I don’t know why though. Its so annoying!

    Reply

  4. I love this update! I’m so, so happy for you!

    Reply

  5. This is beautiful news. Hoping these next few weeks go easy on you and your baby continues to grow stronger by the day. What a journey x

    Reply

  6. Fantastic news! I’m so happy for you! I understand the trepidation, but it sounds like things are going perfectly. Amazing, isn’t it?

    Reply

  7. Posted by Tales of a Twin Mombie on May 5, 2014 at 1:05 pm

    Awesome update. Glad everything looks great!

    Reply

  8. Fantastic news! Totally understand where you’re coming from though hun. Little steps at a time. Hugs xx

    Reply

  9. Baby steps, love! You know, you share an undue date with this blogger:

    http://hiddeninfertility.blogspot.com/2014/05/the-day-of-you.html

    I commented how my Bean would have been 7 months old today, but I am finding these dates easier with new life growing inside. I don’t believe in fate, but I think it is also true that our lost babies were a necessary step to these new little babies. It files to take the pain away, but I am, 7 months on, beginning to find some semblance of gratitude. I wish you much love and peace xo

    Reply

  10. Congratulations on this great news! Welcome to motherhood!

    Reply

  11. Just checking in to see how you are progressing?

    Reply

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