Posts Tagged ‘Femara’

Cycle Day Something

Ask me what I’ve been doing lately.  No scratch that.  Ask me what I haven’t been doing. 

I am proud to say I haven’t:

  • visited Mr. RE for any ultrasounds/blood work/haughty conversations with Nurse Stilletto
  • missed any work due to reproductive issues
  • swallowed a fertility pill or injected myself with a needle.
  • suffered any super-mega-major episodes due to said pills and needles.
  • spent any money on anything fertility related
  • had timed intercourse in the hopes of catching an elusive egg
  • peed on an OPK stick (aka Often Partially Kidding Stick)
  • obsessed endlessly about fertility and which cycle day it is

However, I have:

  • Stopped worrying whether I am having implantation cramps and gone back to the gym already.
  • Taken the time to appreciate what I have.
  • Felt happier than I have in a long time
  • Stopped entertaining thoughts of infertility
  • Stopped replaying the inconsiderate words of rude fertiles
  • Just tried to get on with my life

.

I didn’t seek medical treatment this month mainly for financial reasons–the money (even with decent insurance coverage) just isn’t there.  But I’m ok with that because I feel like this huge burden has been lifted from my shoulders, if only for a month.  I can’t begin to tell you how it feels not to have to drive myself to the doctor, not to request time off from work, not worrying if I had sex at the “right time”.

It takes courage to sit back and do nothing because I have always been the type to feel like I had to be doing something, anything to reach my goal.  To simply throw my hands up in the air is not me, but it sure feels good.  The way I see it, the plans I make, at least according to this area in my life, simply do not give me the result I want, so why make any? 

It feels good just to live my life.  I don’t know if I’ll ever be the same person I was before all of this, but I know that I want to live. 

I want to be free. 

For now, maybe just now, I don’t have to worry about how this cycle will end.  I just wish it didn’t have to.

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Wouldn’t it be awesome if. . .

. . . After starting this infertility blog that I actually get pregnant the same month? Of course I said the same thing after I started my first round of Femara, got my tubes checked and cleared, and scheduled the first visit to the RE. This is a message to get the ball rolling.  If you want to stalk me or learn entirely TMI about my TTC journey, feel free.  Before I go, I just want to share:

Hey hon?!  I can’t find Junior!  Don’t tell me you left him hanging on a random bathroom stall door again!!

Finally--hope for those who misplace their babies in restrooms!